February 2, 2016

Monthly Muse: FEBRUARY


I don't really love the month of February. Valentine's Day has never been a holiday I particularly enjoy and most of the time in this part of Virginia we're fighting off blizzard weather. However, I will say, this little round-up of inspiration is making me incredibly happy today. It's kinda hard to believe that we're already into the second month of 2016. I spent most of January recovering from a Christmas hang over, being snowed in (thanks, Jonas), and binge-watching Mad Men. What are you looking forward to this month?


INSPIRATION

January 19, 2016

Thoughts on 2016 So Far



Well, friends, 2016 has been a hectic start. I just can't seem to get it together. As evidenced by the lack of blog posts! Real talk for a minute - I just took my Christmas tree down this week, I've basically been living off of hummus and pita chips, and my laundry is piled way too high. There are so many home projects that I'm dying to start and an office full of stuff that's taunting me. I don't get really personal here very often, but today is an exception.

Life has just really been kicking my butt lately. I'm turning 29 on Friday. I can officially say I'll be 30 next year. This is a big deal. At least for me it is. I have so many thoughts going through my head that it's a little overwhelming to write them all down. Some crazy stuff has happened in the last month - like, I probably should write a book because you simply can't make this stuff up. I've been feeling behind at work, with friends, in relationships, and just life in general.

I've taken a long break from social media and it's felt really good. And to be honest, I'm not sorry about it. When you don't really have anything to say and you're just feeling out of control - it's best to say nothing at all. Winter always puts me in this really weird place emotionally. Like somewhere between anxiety on overload and I don't give a (bleep). I've also been reading all these articles about finding happiness, finding the man of your dreams, what you deserve, how to manage anxiety, well...you get the idea. And to be real honest, those articles have only been feeding the chaos lately.

I've been spending a lot of my time watching makeup tutorials on YouTube, every Adele interview I can find, and sappy movies (ahem, Pride & Prejudice). I mean, that very sentence pretty much sums up the month of January. So, here I am, sitting on the corner of 20-something and 30 feeling completely out of control. I went to a one-year-old's birthday party last weekend and it hit me (very hard) that I am in a very different season of my life than almost everyone around me. Even on the internet - every blogger I follow is experiencing something significant.

Married? No. In a relationship at all? No. Pregnant? No. A mom? Nope. 

When you put it that way, it makes you stop and wonder exactly what it is you're doing. Now, I'll be the last one to get on the "oh, the clock's a-ticking" bandwagon, but really - is it?? I don't really know. Maybe. This isn't so much about living the "single life" as just pondering exactly what stage I'm in. It often feels like a non-season. . .you know, if that's even a thing.

I never ever want you all to think it's a pity party when I write blog posts like this. It's really more about me stripping everything down and saying "hey, real life doesn't have an instagram filter, ok?" Whatever you're feeling, there are so many other people out there feeling the exact same way. Out-of-control crazy girls unite?! We've only got each other cause everyone else is updating their TheKnot.com profile. . .